The Fighter

Hello everyone:

Just to update you. I've been working part time at Kohl's doing ad set work. No, it's not my dream job but it's something until I can find that next good job. I will tell you straight up this economy sucks. It was definitely a bit of a hit in the stomach to not only lose my job a few months ago but to do it in this economy.

I'm finding I'm kind of in this weird middle ground. I'm having employers feel I'm overqualified for entry level jobs. But if you think about it from their standpoint...they have their choice of whoever they really want because the competition is so fierce. So when they don't think I'm going to stay around for an entry level office position they aren't going to hire me when they can find someone that will. Then on the other end the jobs I can work into have their pick from the pool as well and don't want to waste their time training when they have 5-10 applicants that have already done the job in specific systems.

In this middle ground I'm hoping I can find a small business that I can grow into. I'm feeling like that is my best bet. I had an interview yesterday with a graphics company in Beaverton that is in need for an HR person and the duties are pretty much the same thing I did before. So I took the bull by the horns and turned in my resume in person, thinking because it's a local business, I might have a better shot if they meet me. They had me fill out an app and come in for an interview the next day. I think I nailed it. But the guy told me he has had over 100 applicants for this job. I'm hoping my aggressiveness in coming will help me. Please dear God lol I just need my foot in someone's door.

So btw readers today is my 27th birthday. I woke up this morning with my facebook blowing up. It sounds kinda silly but it really did make me feel good. I appreciated it more than people probably realize.

I just saw the movie the Fighter and loved it. I love the grit of it. I love marky mark and Christian Bale again just acts the hell out of his roles.

I saw a bit of me in that movie. No, I'm not from the projects and I don't have a crack addicted brother. But I do have my own battles and my own traumatic experiences that have shaped me.

People ask me sometimes if it hurts getting tackled and some people don't understand why I like getting hit. It's not really that I like getting hit. I like hitting you before you hit me. I like you trying to stop me and me running you over or making you miss. That feeling is a metaphorical feeling for overcoming obstacles in life. It's why I play better with a chip on my shoulder. I take all that anger and pain and funnel it.

I become a different person. Plus I have no fear of being physically hurt really. Ive had so many injuries and things happen that I know short of a freak accident that I can come back and heal from most anything. I'm not invincible but I don't fear pain.

I see football as a battle. It's a war game. It's not ever going to be alright to actually call it war because I'm not in Iraq. But it's game based off the attribution of land and resources. The strategy of it is a war game. Football is a hell of a lot more mental than people realize. It's physical chess. Coach 1 moves a piece here at a weakness. Coach 2 sends a rook here to block. Coach 1 tries to outflank team 2. Coach 2 sends in reserves.

So because of this my teammates are very important to me. They fight for me. I fight for them. We fight together for one goal. Move the ball. Stop the ball. Get the ball. It doesn't work if we are 11 individuals. In football, you can't get away with a Kobe Bryant and role players. If I don't pass protect the quarterback gets sacked. If no one blocks I don't care who you have with the ball you won't move it. If no one blocks it's 11 defenders against 1 person with the ball and even if you are Reggie Bush that is horrible odds.

On defense it's the same idea. You are mostly in certain assignments, zones, and reads. If everyone does their job you stop the ball. The second you don't trust your teammate and try to freelance is the second you open a lane and they cutback for a touchdown.

Because of this and the natural bond you have because you are all getting the crap beat out of you physically and you like it...your teammate is your family.

So when I am getting tackled a lot, and I get knocked down and keep coming back for more, it's not really about me. It's about my team. I'm fighting for them and they are fighting for me. We fight together. That is when you really start winning.

I have played sports my whole life. Everything you can think of. I was pretty decent and most of them. None of them have come close to giving me this feeling I get when I play football. I fly around and I'm free. I'm rewarded for courage. The connection I get from my team is different than any other sport.

As much as I get annoyed by the Brett Farve saga I can understand why he wants to always come back. It's addicting.

So you can knock me down, get me against the ropes, but football has taught me I can fight back and I will hit you in the mouth.